Aren't you a clever/bored bunny. You've found the special secret page. If you're here, as you must be to read this then email me because I want to know how many of you are wandering this extensively around my site.

Email me and I'll tell you a secret. I have an extensive collection.

Well I hope you are enjoying this page and I also hope that you feel somehow a larger person by being this determined.

Here are five words for you to get into the next seven sentences you say out loud:

1. Arse

2. Philanthropic

3. Astride

4. Moon

5. Cheese

6. Counterpoint

7. Temporalizes

Here is something that you can enjoy if you want to kill or maim someone, a way of shooting a cork from a bottle without having to drink the wine afterwards. Which is no chore, but somewhat costly:

1. Pour 1/4 pint of vinegar into bottle

2. Put two teaspoons of baking powder in neck and push in cork

3. Shake and aim (range up to 20ft)

I hope that you have enjoyed this somewhat pointless page. Go and tell someone that you hate them and want to eat their children. Unless their big and scary, at which point you tell them that you already have.

Run if you see this man:

Bye

Bye

Bye