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Eventually, we had decided that enough was enough, and now was the time to head towards the Ministry of Sound nightclub. There Kiss fm were hosting a special Halloween Bash including some of the biggest names within the world of Speed Garage. It was a one off event!!!

It only took us around 5 minutes to reach there, due to Sonia's expert knowledge of the area, and also her sassy driving….
These Londoners know how to take driving to the limit I thought.

Reaching those famous wrought Iron gates of the world famous Ministry of Sound Night club, I was asked by one of the Mike Tyson styled Minders if I was either a paying member of the public, or on the guest list to queue on either side of the gates.

I told him the latter, and he ushered us to the guest list queue even thought there was nobody there at the time which seemed to be taking things to the extreme.

I was motioned to the gates by the same meat head, where by I was asked by a girl dressed in the Club's dress attire ( Black jeans and the Black Bomber jacket with the Ministry of Sound logo on the back) which guest list I was down under.

I mentioned the persons name, which drew a puzzled blank on her face.

"Sorry Sir, there's no person by that name here?
"You sure, they're quite important here?
"Your name is again?

After about 5 minutes of this shenanigans, it was clear that someone had failed to inform these people that I was expected down here. Oh well bangs goes the night at the Ministry with Kiss Fm!!!

"Don't worry about it…. We'll go to the Coliseum instead. Its the Club on a Sunday in London."

What more could go wrong, I thought? I apologized all the way to the new club that we were heading to.

Even before getting there you could see the cars…There were quite a few already parked out there already… and they weren't you ordinary motors either. BMW's, Audi's, Benz convertibles, etc were neatly parked side by side down the main street just outside the club.

We eventually made a bee-line for the club. I have to say that Sonia and her sister were well dressed for the occasion I noticed that a few other clubbers also were well dressed also.

Reaching the steps to the club, we were confronted by minders who were dressed for the occasion as well, but this time they were dressed in Halloween costumes and masks!!!!! However their methods were the usual actions of diplomacy handed out by London Minders!!!.

Before I had a chance to even empty my pockets I was given the police style search employed on men going into nightclubs nowadays.
I was told, "Who told you you could move?...Just stand still"

If I wanted to get into the club tonight, I just had to keep quiet!!!
After what seem like a lifetime, I was ushered towards the paying in booth, which was again surrounded by Monsters and a pretty cashier girl.
The girls that I was with had already paid and where heading their way inside the opening of the club. I couldn't help noticing for this Halloween special that there was a girl that the club had hired for that night who had around her neck a Boa Constrictor!!!!

At first I thought ...nah, it couldn't be
But then it huge body moved slightly, to the amazement of some of the small crowd that had gathered to watch this amusement. Moved back slightly themselves.

What next, a herd of Wildebeest!!! camped at the club?
Sonia took me by the arm, and said that she was going to give me a guided tour through the club. So via the next 5 Minutes, we went through 3 different areas of the club.
The main part of the club was already filling up nicely, with the DJ's who I couldn't make out who they were. I took a look down at my flyer which gave some indication of the rotation of DJ's that were to play that night!!

Were already locked in a Speed Garage groove...
I noticed that there was a lot of girls there already..
Maybe it was because of special rates for girls who arrived at this club early. It was dark, and from what I could see had few extra's...
But it wasn't tacky, far from it! You could see that money had been spent on the place.

Already, one of the podiums had a couple of punters on it, giving it their all. There was also a male dancer, who was dressed in what could be best described as a leopard cat suit.. that had the females trounced all around him entranced!!! Lucky him I thought

Sonia tugged at my jacket, and we were off again to the another part of the club....
This time we reached a smallish room, that had a few chairs, but wasn't that small that you couldn't move within it comfortably. It was the clubs Chillout room, which at even at this time had a few people in it. It was coloured Red and hadn't much else in the way of amenities..... No soothing music or anything like that just a brightly light and coloured room with chairs and a bench...

The tour wasn't over, as we were led towards the Soul Room, which was a change in style again. The light was all but removed, and there were a few clubbers letting go there already.

The Boogie Bunch one of the London renowned Soul, Swing and Reggae DJ were dropping some nice soul numbers whilst I was there.I noticed that this part of the club had a bar which was brightly lit, that kept this room from being completely pitch black.

The size of this room wasn't that small, and it was moderately decorated.
We stayed there for about 5 minutes, in which I noticed some extremely nice looking girls indeed.
All different shades and complexions.....Wow!!!!
And that was it as we were now heading back to the main House and Garage room.
Since we had left it, the room had fueled up somewhat. Not enough so that you couldn't move, but enough to notice that you could feel in about 1 hour's time you had better have secured your places

I decided to get the drinks, which eventually Sonia and her sister accepted from me....

However, going through the crowd I noticed Smiley Culture, the UK Reggae artistswho had a couple of huge hits in the early to middle 1980's years within England. Eventually reaching the front of the queue which was already 3 man deep I was finally asked my order by an extremely rushed bar tender.

Making my way back with the cans of fizzy Oranges juices and coke and lemon was like being a waiter on a very turbulent ship. By the time I had reached Sonia. I had said "Sorry" about 50 times to other party revelers as some the drink had wetted their clothes.

Now things had hotted up. You sense that the night had started. The DJ was beginning to let free with a couple of Anthems already.
"Anytime by Nu birth" came booming out of the clubs sounds systems to great delight of the girls that were standing behind me, and to be fair to the rest of the crowd. Sonia, even let loose on the dance floor which took me by surprise. She was really letting go!!

On the stage the club had hired a male dancer who was dressed, if I can best describe it as being kited out in a leopard skin leotard!!! Another one?. Or was that the same person.

And again he had the girlies around him.
Leopard skin. hmmm I must make a note of that!!!
The track "Anytime" had really got under his skin, as you could see he was really putting a lot of concentration and effort into his dance moves to coordinate with the fast Skippy beat of the track.

Looking all around, many of the girl clubbers were dressed like Foxy Brown. Some of them went the whole hog. Those black rimmed glasses, long sweeping black hair, skimpy dress.

The DJ (I can't remember who he was) noticing that he had the crowd in his palms now started dropping some old classics in his set now, to the crowds delight…

Out came "Got together" by Grant Nelson and that was followed by other firm favorites with the Speed Garage fans such as "Saved My life" by Mr.Todd Edwards and "Cover up Vo1" by Cover Ups… by Joey Musaphia.
The crowd were ecstatic. Whistles and roars greeted the DJ as he blended them in nicely.

The pace was kept at that level until DJ Spoony appeared.

Yes, member of the DJ Team called the Dream team, and resident of the Twice as Nice nightclub here within the Coliseum nightspot, London, England.

The Mc's who had accompanied him, rattled on for about 5 minutes before Spoony released his set to the crowd, which took away the excitement a bit as people just wanted him to get on with it.

Spoony was in fine form, let me tell you. His set was more soulful, then the previous DJ. He mixed in Classic Garage and House tracks with his rendition of Speed Garage as well. I love his mixing in off the track called "Sole Fusion" which led into Industry Standards "What you want, what you need". Excellent.

The bass line of "Sole Fusion", plus the lyrics of "Industry Standards'" classic track worked a treat!!
Even the percussionists below the DJ stand booth were enjoying themselves at this moment. Then he let the Industry Standard track play out at its full and original context, in which everybody seems to know all the words. I looked at Sonia, and she and Natasha who were well into the night preceedings.

They were really getting down to it. The next 40 minutes were fast and furious. This club is being labeled as the bedrock of Speed Garage within the UK. And for this moment I could see why.

Spoony was really working tonight. How does that WHODINI track go?
"The freaks go out at night?.....

Everybody seemed to be rocking as "Anytime" was played for the second time that night.
Another monster that really took the place by the scuff its neck was a song that I don't know the title to, but is played everywhere on the London Garage scene. It went.."I want your love". I want.. your love" I want you love" I want .....your love". Which is played over a softish Hiphop/Garage breakbeat, then come over a fleeting trumpet riff..

Whew, do the girls like this or what?

Spoony, continued to play for a further 30 minutes or so. But we wanted a change of scenery, so Sonia led the way in showing us around to different parts of the club.

The other house room I noticed that we had missed out in out previous journey around the club had Jason Kaye (of the London Underground pirate radio station)on the decks. He was playing some lovely Hiphop break beat, with Garage undertones that a lot of DJs here in London seem to be dropping at the moment. It sounded so fresh, and FUNKY.

Immediately, I left the party that I was with and made a beeline towards the booth, maybe just to get a glimpse of what label it was on. However, I was met by the customary white label center, and cheeky smile from Mr. Kaye…

I just shrugged my shoulders, he shrugged his, and I left to catch up with Sonia. However, they had decided to stay there for a while. Which to be honest I didn't mind. It allowed me to witness some real pretty girls that came whizzing past me

For amount 20 minutes we stayed in that room, but we eventually tired of it and ventured on to see other sights and sounds. We managed to come to rest in the one of the "Chill out areas" of the club, where there seemed to be a fairly high percentage of girls resting their weary legs after the fierce pace of Speed Garage in the main room.

For the next 30/40 minutes we chatted about the club, the people within it. Eventually we decided to make our way back into the main House and Garage club again.

This time we were witnessing the end of Spoony's reign at the decks In the back ground you could see, Karl "tuff enuff" Brown fanning himself with a white label ready to take the helm!!

He's the one on the left!!!

After a few minutes the self claimed "tuff enuff" Brown had introduced himself to the ,South London, public....

He had set up a jingle that went over and over again..."TUFF, TUFF, TUFF, TUFF, TUFF..... , then he released the tune the had been holding on the decks to a monster reaction....

"Catch a feeling", went the chorus and the crowd went nuts!!!!

The bass rattled the place to its rafters. as everybody moved...its an anthem here!!!
I looked around for a second and I noticed everybody was moving. Whistles, cheers, salutes pierced the air as Mr.Brown seemed to want to impress who was the boss.It followed on that path for quite a while, with the pitched Garage tracks causing frenzy amongst his fans.

Sonia was really enjoying herself as she really got down, to the floor and up again!!!
However, the biggest cheer of the night came when Mr. Brown dropped "GABRIELLE",and that track that I was on about earlier by SPOONY

"I want your love"... I want....your love!!!!.

The percussionists which the club had hired were frantically going hell for leather trying to much the vibe that was being set by the "Twice as Nice" punters!!!

In a way I felt sorry for them.
However, more was to come as we were treated to one more goodie. This took the form of a Live P.A from a gentleman, that allowed himself and Mr.Karl "Tuff enuff" Brown to reach number 28 in the national charts!!!

The gentleman's name was Xavia, and he was performing the song called,"It gets better with time"

He received a very cold reception, when he introduced himself at first, but when he started bellowing out this tune that has become something of an ANTHEM to the Speed Garage freaks.
Their appreciation turned into one of cheers, instead of jeers. He any had a number of girlies on the makeshift stage with him from the crowd!!!

However, I noticed and people within my area..Black Street walking in front of me just a few yards apart.
Nah, it couldn't be..could it?
I looked again. No my eyes hadn't deceived me, it was Black Street. I could recognise Teddy Riley and the boys anywhere.

However, they weren't alone for long. 4 Meaty bouncers had come alongside them to even the odds against any lunatic that fancied losing their lives in acting in anyway suspicious to these killers.Who else Elvis, I thought. I had seen so many startling sights that night that I felt that was it!!

I was wrong. Sonia nudged me, trying to gain my attention that over to my right was LL Cool Jay

"Where, where? I shrieked "Over there, can't you see him?" replied Sonia.
As much as looked I couldn't see him. It was too hazy. Too full of cigarette smoke and other things!! "Are you sure it was him" I asked in disbelief.. "Yes, over there. He's gone now......" droned Sonia.
See couldn't believe that I didn't see him.
But it was packed to the rafters, and I couldn't make him out in the vastness of the crowd.

But the music didn't stop because a few celebrities had entered the arena. It seemed like "Tuff Enuff" could do no wrong.Track after Track was greeted with cheers and whistles.I even witnessed the Blackstreet boys nodding their heads in approval

However, we did not stay right to the end to find out. Whether Mr.Brown was carried out shoulder high by the punters or not.
We all had early starts in the morning!!!
I still had to get home to Ipswich!!!

However, I had a old trump card up my sleeve.
I had a relative that lives not too far from the area.
Sonia and Natasha didn't look tired.
I blinked in disbelief. Or maybe it was all show?
Well, they put on a good show is all I can say.

After much wrangling we agreed that they were going to give me lift to my relative in the Elephant and Castle area of London and that was it!!!

It didn't take long. Remember, I was telling you about Sonia's sassy driving, well e reached there after me giving the girls wrong directions within 10 minutes.
What a night. We said our good-byes to one another with friendly kisses, and then it was next to another dangerous occupation of trying to not wake up the neighbours at 3.15 in the morning, in a quiet suburban street within South London, England. Well, that's another story!!!!

(This article is by permission of Carl Brown. Permission to use any part of it must obtained from him. This work is copyrighted.)

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